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ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

guys, since this site is owned by Rogelio and so corny with his jokes, who I can now baptize as Cornelio and instead of calling him Roger, now it's Corner (for short), right? hehehe!! anyways, here's your chance to express yourselves and bad ways....lolrolleyes;)lol


April 3, 2009 at 8:36 AM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

teka, parang ako lang yata ang walang magawa hah? ah, bahala kayo basta ako aliw-na-aliw.....lol

April 3, 2009 at 8:41 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Roger Munoz
Site Owner
Posts: 8

2009 Holiday Dates:

 

January 1, 2009: New Year's Day [First Date]
January 19, 2009: Martin Luther King Day [Black Date]
January 20, 2009: Inauguration Day [VIP Date]
February 16, 2009: Presidents Day (observed) [Head Date]
May 25, 2009: Memorial Day (observed) [Blonde Date]
July 4, 2009: Independence Day [Divorced Date]
September 7, 2009: Labor Day [School Date]
October 12, 2009: Columbus Day (observed) [Cyber Date]
November 11, 2009: Veterans' Day [Coming Home Date]
November 26, 2009: Thanksgiving Day [Illegal Alien Date]
November 27, 2009: Day After Thanksgiving Day [Blind Date]
December 25, 2009: Christmas Day [Church Date]

--

Roger Munoz

April 3, 2009 at 10:12 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Roger Munoz
Site Owner
Posts: 8

Want to know why I chase girls half my age?  I was "born again" thirty years ago.

--

Roger Munoz

April 3, 2009 at 10:16 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Roger Munoz
Site Owner
Posts: 8

When it is hard but easier to do?

--

Roger Munoz

April 3, 2009 at 10:17 AM Flag Quote & Reply

Roger Munoz
Site Owner
Posts: 8

A verb by itself can be a word and a sentence at the same time.  Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.

--

Roger Munoz

April 3, 2009 at 10:18 AM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

sabi na inyo talagang corny, o di bah kaya cornier na... di na corner??

April 3, 2009 at 5:41 PM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

Roger Munoz at 10:17AM on Apr 03, 2009

When it is hard but easier to do?

i got a good guess but i won't say 'coz it's not easy to do when you ge t to your age..!??lol

April 3, 2009 at 5:46 PM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

Roger Munoz at 10:16AM on Apr 03, 2009

Want to know why I chase girls half my age?  I was "born again" thirty years ago.

I know why, 'coz they (girls) ran away from you daaahhh..... lol

--

TennisIsMyLife

Humor is a life extender

Stay positive n live happy


April 3, 2009 at 5:51 PM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

Roger Munoz at 10:12AM on Apr 03, 2009

2009 Holiday Dates:

 

January 1, 2009: New Year's Day [First Date]
January 19, 2009: Martin Luther King Day [Black Date]
January 20, 2009: Inauguration Day [VIP Date]
February 16, 2009: Presidents Day (observed) [Head Date]
May 25, 2009: Memorial Day (observed) [Blonde Date]
July 4, 2009: Independence Day [Divorced Date]
September 7, 2009: Labor Day [School Date]
October 12, 2009: Columbus Day (observed) [Cyber Date]
November 11, 2009: Veterans' Day [Coming Home Date]
November 26, 2009: Thanksgiving Day [Illegal Alien Date]
November 27, 2009: Day After Thanksgiving Day [Blind Date]
December 25, 2009: Christmas Day [Church Date]

you forgot...  February 29 (No Date)  o di bah??

April 3, 2009 at 5:55 PM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

Roger Munoz at 10:18AM on Apr 03, 2009

A verb by itself can be a word and a sentence at the same time.  Marriage isn't a word, it's a sentence.

Beg to disagree, marriage is not a sentence.... it's a blackmail.

April 3, 2009 at 6:01 PM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

dalaga na....

anak: nay may regla na po ako dalaga na ko.. nay: peste ka! tumahimik ka nga jan RODRIGO! BAKA PIGAIN KO BAYAG MO JAN!!


Katawan Lang
Isang magasawa ang dumulog sa korte para magpaannul. 
Judge: Ano ang dahilan para kayo magpaannul? 
Babae : ( Nagsalita habang nakayuko ) Your honor, katawan lang ang gusto niya sa akin. 
Judge : Anong pruyba mo? 
Babae : ( Nakayuko pa rin ) Tuwing nag love making kami tinatakpan niya ng towel ang mukha ko. 
Judge : Ikaw Mister bakit mo ginawa yun? 
Mister : No comment your Honor. Just see for yourself. 
Misis: (Nagalit at ihinarap ang mukha sa Judge ) See bastos talaga ang taong yan. 
Judge : (Habang nakatingin kay Misis. ) Annulment petition granted. Ikaw naman lalaki, bakit ngayon ka lang nagfile ng annulment? Ang tiyaga mo. .??

April 3, 2009 at 10:05 PM Flag Quote & Reply

ZackJr
Member
Posts: 25

Dear Tech Support, 
Last year I upgraded from 
Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system 
performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under

Boyfriend 5.0
.
In addition , 
Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as 
Romance 9.5
 and 
Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: 
NBA 5.0

NFL 3.0
  
and 
Golf Clubs 4.1
Conversation 8.0
 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running 
Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. 
What can I do? 
Signed, 

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE

First, keep in mind, 
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. 
Please enter command: 
ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not 
forget to install the 
Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then 
automatically run the applications 
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. 
However, remember that overuse of the above application can cause 
Husband 1.0 to default to 
Grumpy Silence 2.5
,
 Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 
Please note that 
Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta. 
Whatever you do, 
DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the 
background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) 
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the
 
Boyfriend 5.0. These are unsupported applications 
and will crash 
Husband 1.0.
In summary, 
Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn 
new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and 
performance. We recommend: 

Cooking 3.0
 and 
Hot Lingerie 7.7


Best Wishes, 

Tech Support

April 7, 2009 at 7:35 PM Flag Quote & Reply

Nori M Viloria
Member
Posts: 8

This is emailed by Arlene Balayan:

 

AND IT'S A FILIPINO PARTY!

NOW, HOW COULD YOU TELL IF IT'S A PINOY PARTY?


You're an hour late and there is still nobody else there!

There's enough food to feed the people of the Phil.

You can't even get through the door because there's a pile of 50 shoes blocking the way.

When you see a huge fork and spoon on the wall, a framed picture of the Last Supper, a huge Santo Nino, and the famous Baguio barrel man.

When they start singing "Peelings" on karaoke.

The piano in the living room is just there for decoration and to display framed pictures on. No one really plays the piano at the house, unless you count that one piano lesson your parents forced you to go to when you were 8.

When you hear an Uncle traumatize one of the female cousins by saying,"Oh, You're a big girl now!" instead of "You're all grown up."

When they give you extra adobo for your office ba-on the next day.

There's a lechon (Roast Pig) as a table centerpiece with all the crispy skins gone except for the pig's head which is saved for "paksiw" for the host family's next day meal.


The living room is tiled, not carpeted because the furniture has  been cleared out for karaoke and dancing.

When the drunk uncles in the backyard don't even bother going to the bathroom to take a pee - the rose bush is designated to be the community urinal.

I find it hilarious when my old Navy retired Ilocano manong Uncles see old friends at a party.  All I hear is, "UKI NAM, LAKAY! LONG TIME NO SEE!" Or "PARE KO! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN HIDING?"  And then they start telling sea stories of Navy adventures for old time sake.

When you are greeted by an old lady named Tita Baby and/or an old-timer uncle named Tito Boy.

When the older men are in the garage playing posoy-dos, poker or
mah-jong, the women are in the kitchen gossiping or talking about the latest on soap opera drama on TFC.

You're told only to walk on the plastic floor runners.

There's special kilawen goat 'pulutan' and pinapaitan bitter-sour soup, a favorite of the Ilocano guests.

There's a crazy woman with a camera going around the room snapping away and yelling, "Uy peeeek-chuuur!"

Parents expect you to be best friends with their friends' kids just
because they grew up as best friends back in the Philippines.

When you enter a family party and you "Manong" half the old crowd and when you leave you have to say goodbye to EVERYONE that's related to you as a sign of respect. You end up saying hello and goodbye for a total of 30-40 minutes.

You know you're at a Filipino party when you hear a male's voice on the karaoke trying to emulate Frank Sinatra's "My Way".

Women are doing the line dancing  - todo-todo, bosa nova, electric slide, etc.  while men are just watching and drinking.

When there's at least one or more with the name: JP,JT,TJ,DJ,AJ,RJ,LJ, and funny names such as Nene, Linlin, Bingbing, Tingting, Dingding, Wenwen, Jojo, Bongbong, Toto, Dingdong, Popo, Jayjay, Cocoy, etc.


The parents show off how talented their kid is by forcing them to sing or play an instrument in front of their guests.

All the old aunties are already wrapping up foods to take home when the party is not over yet and some guests are still coming.

You have the Pacquiao fight on the illegal cable boxes on the 70" LCD in the movie room,
the 10 yr old 50" CRT in the living room, the 15 yr  old 30" tube in the breakfast nook, the 20 yr old 15" tube in the kitchen, the 30 yr old 13" tube in the garage and the little portable by the BBQ grill, because TVs are NEVER retired in a Filipino  household, they merely get demoted to whichever room doesn't have a TV yet(hahaha),then it ends up in the balikbayan box to be sent to a relative back home, and it ends up being the main TV at their sala house again.

The leftover food can be recycled into another dish later on that week. When someone is encouraging you to eat the "chocolate meat"(dinuguan) and "Kare-kare" with tripes and ox tails in peanut butter sauce complete with "alamang" on the side.

There's a token white guy there in the corner that's responsible for bringing one of your aunts over from the Philippines by marrying her.
 
The Aunties are showing off their "designer" Louis Vuitton and Coach bags that they secretly bought at a swap-meet in the Philippines.

Someone is always in the kitchen constantly cleaning up, and you're not sure if she's the maid or a relative, so you greet and kiss her on the cheek anyway, just in case .

When no matter how many times you politely protest, refuse, or say you're full, you're still forced to eat food and even then, end up bringing at least 2 tupperware containers worth of stuff home.

They constantly ask if you have a gf/bf, or if you're married yet, and when you say "No" they're like "Oh why not?" and then they just so happen to know someone to hook you up with that's "perfect" for you.

An Auntie or Manang asks, "Did you ETTTTTT?"  You say, "Yes, Auntie, I'm full!" and she says, "We hab plinti of good food, you ETTTTT.!"

Relatives will ask you where you worked and if it's a retail job or if you work at an amusement park, they'll ask if you can get them a discount. Everybody has there own magic mic with "their" songs. When you see banana ketchup (Mafran), patis or bagoong on the table.

After the party, you're helping clean up and your auntie tells you, "Anak, put the 'kwan' next to the 'ano'."
The lumpia is gone in 5 minutes and they are frying up another batch.

They play achy-breaky heart over and over again.

I like how the religious gatherings at the house turn into an illegal gambling set up by the end of the night.

The room is full of Uncles and Aunties that you aren't even blood related to.

And that's why Pinoy parties are always a blast!

April 10, 2009 at 7:31 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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